Breast Cancer - My Family's Journey

Giving Thanks 2010...

This year has certainly been one for the record books for the DeMarchis household. Through everything bad that has happened, there have been so many more blessings. 

Here is my top ten list of 2010 (through Thanksgiving):

10. We FINALLY got a new computer...Dan got in line at 6am Friday to get a great deal.  (that will never happen again I am sure).

9. Bought a new washer & dryer yesterday. YEAH!!!

8. Since we have been on a purchasing kick...our new windows are being installed before Christmas.

7. We moved into our fabulous new home.

6B.  Dan's parents moved to Fort Wayne...we can walk to their house!

6A. My whole family is coming to my house to celebrate Christmas this year...some of them haven't been to my house since I got married 7 1/2 years ago.

5. My circle of friends has expanded much farther that I could ever have imagined  - all because of a little thing called breast cancer.

4. December 1st is my LAST chemotherapy treatment. 

3. Michael potty trained this summer.

2. Our 2nd son Andrew was born...he just turned 10 months old on Thanksgiving Day.

1. My baby saved my life. If he hadn't stopped breast feeding, we might not have found my cancer until it was much much worse. and for that I am most thankful.

There are soooo many more things that I can add to the list, and I realize that #'s 10-7 are all materialistic, but I am truly grateful for these things.

If you know my husband - you know that we do not buy things on a whim. They take LOTS of thought before we sign on the dotted line. so this year year was definitely one of firsts. 

but I don't want to bore you too much, so I'll close with this...

 

Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
~Charles Dickens

 

A Wish...

someone gave me this the other day. 

thought I would pass it along...

 

This is my wish for you:                           

                comfort on difficult days,

smiles when sadness intrudes,

                rainbows to follow the clouds,

laughter to kiss your lips,

                sunsets to warm your heart,

hugs when spirits sag,    

                beauty for your eyes to see,

friendships to brighten your being,

                faith so that you can believe,

confidence for when you doubt,

                courage to know yourself,

patience to accept the truth,

                love to complete your life.

~anonymous

Val...

I met Val at a Matilda Jane party in June.

It was two days after I found out that I had cancer.

I didn't know why at the time, but I couldn't stop staring at her. There was just something about her.  We started a conversation, mainly about our kids and MJC.  I adored her immediately.  That night I told Dan about this really cool girl that I met that I felt really connected to her. 

A few weeks later when I started my blog I got my answer. 

Val had posted a comment.

 Chelsa, We met at the MJC event(s). My husband is fighting stage 4 cancer and when I found out that you were diagnosed ... omg. I just want to hug you. So wish I was closer to help you with your sweet babies. I know that there is a reason we met last weekend. I liked you immediately and adore your family. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers and I will be following your journey, okay? I am going to put your blog link on mine, just so everyone can follow along, too. XO. Val.

I am telling you all this now because Val's husband Wayne needs to be lifted up in prayer now more than ever.  I know that they have oodles of support from their large circle of family and friends.

But I hope that together with the collective power of the prayer warriors that are out their praying for me and the miracle of modern medicine that maybe, if we all focus our prayers on them,

just maybe,

Val and Wayne might have a chance to beat their war with cancer.

I hope that you all will watch this you tube video that a friend of theirs posted. It brought Dan and I both to tears. Mile 45

Also please visit her blog. In the Moment 

You will laugh and cry,

mostly cry.

More importantly,

You will all fall in love with her - and her family.

She truly is an amazing wife,

Amazing mother,

Amazing woman.

Courage...

My posts are getting a lot of time between them.

because...

Life is Good.

Yes, Life is Good.

Last Wednesday was a good day.

I got to go to Indianapolis with Dan, my Mom, and two of my three sisters - Mary and Deirdre. We went to see the genetic councilor at IU Med Center. The councilors that we met with gave us all the probabilities of my family having a genetic mutation and whether they thought it was a good idea to have testing done.  My results should be back this week.

Why genetic testing? well, I am only 34 for one thing. and there is a family history - although not a large history - of ovarian cancer. those two things together could add up to a genetic inheritance, which puts all of my sisters and their daughters (and my sons) at a higher risk for developing breast or ovarian cancer.

It's a lot deal with...so we are all anxiously waiting for the results.

 

on another note...

today was chemo treatment #9       

            only 3 more to go before surgery.

I have a tiny bit hair growing on my head - it's very dark -

Michael is almost as excited as I am.  Almost.

 

I met three lovely women today at treatment.

The first gal is only 32 and has stage1breast cancer. She has the most beautiful, long black hair that I think I've ever seen.

                    She asked me about being bald.

I told her the truth. it hard and depressive to lose your hair. But once it's gone you feel empowered.

The conversation reminded me of Debra. The bald woman I met when I was first diagnosed. That woman changed me. I hope that I was able to pass some of that courage onto the gal I met today.

The 2nd and 3rd ladies are sisters. The younger one came up to me and thanked me for telling them where to by a wig two weeks ago. (they were admiring mine in the waiting room).

                FYI - if you know anyone that needs a wig she can go anywhere but the key is to get it cut by a stylist - it really makes all the difference.

She also asked how old I was because her sister thought she was the youngest one there.

She is 38. 

She is stage 4.  She thought she beat breast cancer two years ago. It is now in her bones and her liver.

She asked what stage I am and I told her stage 3. Her sister asked "how do you stay so positive?"

I said "by the grace of God. I don't know any other way to be."

Her sister - the one with cancer - said "I think I understand that."

That conversation reminded me of a book that was given to me when I was diagnosed.

                            "There's No Place Like HOPE" by Vickie Girard.

It - among other books- has helped to bring me peace and I will give it to my new friend next week.

I hope, no, I know that it will help her too.

 

a quote from Vickie Girard...

"There is something good in every single day that we are given; sometimes we just have to look a little harder."

 

 

The little things...

It has been ten days since my last post. I really must say that I am sorry that I am not posting more often.

I am sorry on one hand, but on the other I am grateful that I have been too busy to post.

I am grateful for the little things that make up the typical life of a wife, and working mom.

things like...

dancing myself silly in the living room with Michael on Sunday afternoons.

laughing till it hurts with Andrew - he has the most infectious laugh.

going out on a long needed date with Dan - it's funny how a trip to Barnes and Noble and Target makes up date night.

lining up miniature dragons on the dining table just because their cool.

going for a short walk in the neighborhood that turns into 45 minutes because we must stop to pick up acorns for the squirrels.

shopping for Halloween costumes.

I am so happy that these typical moments have made their way back into my life. I don't feel like cancer is on my mind all the time

it's these moments that make me sit back and remember that This is what life is all about.

This is what I need to focus on and the rest will fall into place.

 

 

Half-way there...

The end is in sight...

Today was chemo infusion # 6 - only six more to go until surgery.

I still have to go to genetic counseling in November. I won't have the genetic test done until November either (Dr. is making me have counseling first - probably a good thing).

Because of the counseling schedule, I won't be done with chemo until December 1st, and I am ok with that.

Michael thinks that it is really cool that he can feel some stubble on my head. I might get hair for Christmas after all.

He found a new love - Picasso - He brought home his Picasso inspired artwork today from school. It is awesome.

Andrew is now working on his 7th tooth. that kid just can't seem to catch a break. It's not fun to have a cold and teethe at the same time. poor baby.

Jonesy - our dog - has finally decided that he loves Andrew. he actually gave his stuffed toy to the baby today. It was both very sweet and very gross at the same time.

and one last thing...

Thank you to all of the wonderful  people that continue to support my family with meals and gift cards and thoughts and prayers etc...we continue to be humbled by all the love that you have shown us.

and thank you to my "friend" who sent me the lovely gift in the mail. I don't know who you are but I want you to know that I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest in the grateful and appreciating heart.  ~Henry Clay

A day in pictures...

Here are some photos form the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. Enjoy...

 

   

 

 

Today, I walked...

I am humbled once again...

today was my first ever breast cancer walk - the American Cancer Society's "Making Strides Against Breast Cancer" - it is only a 5k walk, but it was the most amazing walk I think that I have ever taken.

My husband and two boys walked.

My mom and baby sister drove from Detroit to walk.

My husband's parents walked.

My brother in law and his wife and 4 year old son walked.

Two Clients walked (I was sorry that I missed you Liz and Sandi).

The Canterbury High School Cheerleaders walked.

Fellow survivors Becca and Marie Elena and their families walked.

Libby, Tim, Lauren and Austin walked.

Erica walked.

Beth, Dwight, Hannah, and Hunter walked.

These are just the people that came out to support me. You can only imagine how many others were there today. It was a beautiful thing.

I want to thank everyone that came out and supported me and everyone that supported the American Cancer Society with a donation. As of today, the Fort Wayne event had raised over $95,000 for breast cancer research and support services.

I will post some pictures from the day later. Thank you Schaneon for bringing your camera and taking such wonderful photos. (she has to get back to Michigan to download them and send them to me before I can post them).

but in the meantime, here are some pics of my guys hamming it up for the camera at home...I still can't believe how fast they grow. I wish I was a good photographer - oh well - good thing I have such handsome subjects.

 

Busy...

It has been awhile since my last post and things are going pretty well.

I even have a little peach fuzz on my head...maybe Santa will bring me hair for Christmas after all. Michael would really be happy about that. He tells me at least twice a week that he doesn't like my pretend hair.

Today will be treatment #4 of 12. so we are well on our way to the end of chemo.

Thursday -  Dan and I will be attending the Fall Tribute Dinner with Cancer Services of Northeast Indiana.

Friday - I will be attending the Vera Bradley Foundation Tickled Pink event with a friend and fellow survivor.

In two weeks - I will walk in my first ever American Cancer Society "Making Strides against Breast Cancer" walk.  I know that there are a few people who are planning to walk with me...so if you plan to walk please don't forget to register at the Making Strides website. It doesn't cost anything to register.  I hope to see you there!!!

In other news:

Andrew is pulling himself up to stand...I pray that he doesn't walk at least until Christmas.

Michael is learning that listening to Mommy and Daddy is actually a good thing - and that "we're going to the store" doesn't mean "we're buying a new toy"...he isn't really on board with that yet, but he is catching on.

Dan is enjoying fantasy football season. it is really interesting how he is always surprised at the beginning of the season when I watch a game with him and talk about great plays and/or bad calls.

 

Vanity...

Vanity - Excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements.

Have you ever thought about the true meaning of that word? I never really did until today.

It seems that lately the only thing on my mind is how much weight I've gained. Forget the fact that I am putting toxic chemicals into my body every week to beat this little thing called cancer. Apparently, not fitting into my fall wardrobe takes precedence. I have to say in my own defence though - putting on ten pounds in 2 & 1/2 months is really astounding...I mean, c'mon - who does that?!?

Maybe I have become so self-absorbed that I am punishing myself. I guess that I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself and do something about it. I actually worked out tonight - biked for almost 45 minutes while watching the replay of the VMA's (so not worth my time, the VMA's I mean).

The good news in all of this rambling is that I actually had enough energy to workout and sweat.

This round of chemo seems to be a lot more gentle on me. I will continue to stay optimistic.I don't think I said before...this round of chemo is weekly. I am on two drugs:Taxol (chemo) and Herceptin (biological).  I also have to have Echo tests every 3 weeks to make sure that my heart can keep up with the treatment. I will be DONE with chemo the week of Thanksgiving.  Something new to be thankful for this year.

Speaking of thankful...

I know that I have been really awful on the thank you front. Life has really gotten in the way and I just can't keep up. You all know who you are and I can not thank you enough for all that you do and continue to do for my family.

And about family...

Dan's parents are officially in Fort Wayne!!! You have no idea how happy this make all of us.

and about being happy...

here are two of the three cutest boys in my world. Thanks Schaneon for the great photos.

Off to a Good Start...

Today I started Round # 2

So far...so good.  No nausea, just a little tired - they gave me Benedryl so that is expected.

The tumor is still shrinking - so I am very happy.

Overall today was a good day. Hopefully the next 11 weeks will be just as good.

Thank you Libby for sitting through the VERY long afternoon at the Dr's visit today. it made the hours pass much faster.

"God speaks to us in the beauty of every flower, in the grace of every tree, and in the shimmer of every star." ~Carolyn Hoppe

I believe that He also speaks to us in the actions of every person.   SO...

I need to thank a ton of people for doing all that you do for my family and for all the meals and gifts that you have sent. The list is way too long and I know that I will forget a lot of people, but you all know who you are and I want you to know that I (and the boys truly appreciate everything that you all have done and continue to do for us.

I have been told by several people that thank you's are absolutely not necessary. But I want you all to know that they are to me - and I will continue to say it only because we really are thankful for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon us through all of you.

Have a happy day.

Chelsa

 

Home Again...

I am home!!!

I know that you all were a little worried about me over the last couple of days, and I want you all to know that I am all right. 

the thing about being on chemo is that when there is a fever over 101 degrees, the doctor wants you to be admitted, or at least checked out to rule out any infections. They don't mess around. The  good news is that I don't have any infections and now I can try and get back to my routine.

Tomorrow is another big day...

I go for my 2nd echo cardiogram. Have to make sure that my heart is up to the challenge of chemo round #2.  no luck needed. I will pass with flying colors.

I am still on schedule to begin round #2 next week...

A good friend visited me at the hospital this morning and she brought her daily devotional to share with me. I want to share it with you...

Bear one another's burdons, and in this way you will fufill the law of Christ.

~Galatians 6:2

I want to thank all of you for travelling this road with me. Because of all of you and your faith and encouragement it has been a much easier one for me to travel as well.

 

Quiet Moments...

I had my first milestone this week...

Finished my first round of chemo Wednesday.

Will start round 2 in September. should be finished by Thanksgiving.

through all of this Michael started school and Andrew turned 7 months old this week too.  I can't believe that time really isn't standing still. It feels like a cruel joke.

My boys are getting older and I am missing it.  I know that this is temporary but we never get back the minutes that pass.

On the brighter side...

I got to hang out with Michael today...it was really good.

We went to McDonald's after school and just hung out. then we watched a movie and we both fell asleep on the same pillow...it was a good day.

Today I got a card in the mail from a dear friend.  It totally reflects my day today, so I want to share. I hope that you all have these moments too...

 

In the quiet moments

when everything else falls away,

we see Jesus most clearly

and realize that He is nearer than we ever knew...

You are at the heart of so many prayers right now.

Some for comfort

others for strength,

and still others for quiet moments

when you feel Jesus right there with you-

moments when nothing can come

between you and His reassuring love.

May You Feel His Love Today.

 

I will not leave you comfortless:

I will come to you.

~John 14:18

 

Cancer Sucks...

I Hate cancer.  I signed up to walk in my 1st breast cancer walk in October. It is a little weird to me that I am a survivor. When I was first diagnosed I told myself that I would not be a survivor because I would not be a victim. I have recently changed my mind...not about the victim part but about the survivor part. whether I like to admit it or not, I am putting up the fight of my life and so that makes me a survivor in every sense of the word.

You want to know what I really hate...I hate that cancer has to be a part of anyone's life. a dear friend that I just met recently is fighting for her husband's life. He is putting up such a strong battle. I pray everyday that he will win his war with cancer. I pray everyday that she will win her war...that their children will sustain and their battle wounds will heal and that they can be a normal family again. V - my heart goes out to you and God hears you name often.

I really hate cancer. I see it affecting the people that I love most in this world and I hate what it does to them. I hate that I am up once again at midnight writing about how much I hate cancer. I know that I have been given so many kudos for being upbeat and positive, but today has taken it's toll.I hope that tomorrow is better, but I wouldn't bet on it. So I will go to bed and wake up and put on my happy face and be brave again tomorrow. 

one more thing...

about the breast cancer walk...

I am very shamelessly soliciting donations for the American Cancer Society. If you would like to make a donation please go to the link below. It should take you directly to my page. if it doesn't,you can go to the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer site and click to find a walker (me).  No pics up yet. just the basic info to make a donation.  And if you are in the Fort Wayne area, I would love it if you would sign up to walk with me on October 9th.  Thank you for any support you can give. ~Chelsa

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/chelsademarchis

Lemons...

So today was my last day of the 1st round of chemo. It started as it always does...see the doctor first then sit and wait for a chair in the chemo room. Wait, I forgot one vital stop...the scale.I have been told time & time again to expect to gain up to 15 lbs or more during chemo. I was NOT told it would be in the form of a pound a week! So as I gingerly stepped on the scale, expecting to gain that pound - I decided it would be a good idea to toss in an extra two, just for good measure. Now with that out of the way, I can get on with today's story:

At my last treatment my oncologist decided to forgo the Neulasta shot because my white blood cell count was very high, in the hopes that it would still be high enough to have chemo today. As I had my nightly conversation with God, I asked Him to let my counts be high enough today and I swear I heard Him say "Not Today". and as fate would have it I could not get chemo today. My oncologist said we need to wait a week because my white counts are extremely low...and by the way, don't get sick. (she really was nicer than that)

Tonight, Dan had to make the dreaded late night call to her because once again as fate would have it, I now have a fever. NOT GOOD!!! She said if I should need it tonight, a bed will be waiting for me on the oncology floor at the hospital. Now as many of you may know, I am not the worrier in my family, Dan is. He is the Yin to my Yang - the chocolate to my peanut butter - (btw, why can't peanut butter cups be nutritious? they have peanuts and chocolate, Hello! protein and antioxidants! and those last two Lbs, I'm sure:<) Anyway...Dan is just sure that I should go in tonight and I am simply refusing. I will go in the AM if it is necessary. I am hoping to wake up and go to work tomorrow. and I can't sleep so here I am talking to you. Hopefully tonight God will say OK when I ask Him to keep me healthy.

I have to say thank you to Christy at Paper Lili . She sent me the coolest tee shirt this week via my Sis in Law Denise at Matilda Jane Clothing. They are both Awesome.

Now I am not the Perfect model, I am giving you my least chubby pose...but I love the tee and when I wore it to my "non chemo treatment" today, I got so many "you go girl's" and "you are awesome" that it almost went to my head. Almost... 

This post is getting a little too long so I'll leave you with this:

When God gives you lemons, for His sake make some lemonade...or lemon meringue pie. 

(I thought of this one myself -  and I think that two more lbs just crawled up my leg and made permanent residence on my fanny)

Have a Happy Day!