The past week has had me thinking alot about how
much my life has changed since August...
When we first got the news that my cancer has returned, it was our 9th anniversary - seriously, our appointment was on our anniversary.
on that day, we were sure that our life together was coming to an end. We talked about our wills and how our kids would remember me. I started a jounal for my husband - he doesn't know about that yet.
Our focus was completely wrapped around making my final months as normal as possible - is was so easy to go to that horrible place in our minds because the news just kept getting worse and worse.
...
I began treatment in September and I got so sick that I could hardly recognize myself.
Then, as if right on cue, something changed. I think God spoke to me in October.
He spoke to me through the amazing community of people that make up the Matilda Jane family.
He spoke to me through my husband - I don't know how he became the optimist in our family -that role has ALWAYS been mine - but he did and I am so grateful for that.
He spoke to me through my super supportive friends, you have been my rock and I know that I don't tell you enough.
...
So now we are to November...
I began the clinical trial with a hopeful heart.
Thanksgiving came and I was presented with the most amazing gift from the Matilda Jane Trunk Keepers - it was way beyond what I ever expected.
Then the side effects of the new chemo began. I was nowhere near as bad as September, but let me tell you - not having full use of my hands and feet is AWFUL. This side effect comes and goes because my chemo is oral and I can (sort of) control the dosing to lessen the effects.
...
On December 1st, my entire family filled my home with so much love and laughter that I could hardly stand it. It was my best family Christmas that I can remember - Michael ended up with the stomach flu (poor guy) but it didn't dampen his spirits at all. and we even got all thirteen grandkids together for a photo shoot to surprise my mom.
at the same time - benefit photo shoots were happening across town - Betsy King Photagraphy and Legacy Protraits by Kayte - you ladies have a special place in my heart.
...
I celebrated my 37th birthday with some of the most talented business women I know and I am so blessed to be able to call them friends - although sisters may be more appropriate .
Now we are here -
I had my first bit of good news from my doctor since August - My December scan came back STABLE.
I was so prepared to hear bad news that when I heard stable, I was dumbfounded. This was my early Christmas gift from God.
I now could focus on making this Christmas amazing for my boys without having to distract myself and my husband just to get through it.
and this Christmas truly was the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!
We were so wrapped up in just being a family that I completely forgot to capture the moments on camera.
but it's okay - because those moments of pure joy and excitement are etched in my heart and in my mind - I can see them now as I type as if they are happening right in front of me.
The past few days have been absolute perfection. Today it finally snowed and we never even changed out of our pj's. we just basked in the glow of Christmas joy and each other.
A few months ago we were sure that I wouldn't be here this Christmas.
Today are are talking about how we will celebrate our 10th anniversary in August.
We are planning to replace the memory of our last anniversary with a MUCH better one.
...
Merry Christmas to you all, I hope it was your best one yet.
It most definitely was our best Christmas ever!
p.s. That 1st photo was taken in Kitale, Kenya, by my sister in law, Denise. Those are the hands of some amazing young girls that have absolutely nothing. Those girls were praying for me to get better - in the midst of their unfathomable harsh lives, they took time to pray for me.
I have no words to express how humbled I am by them. visit chicks for children to learn more about how you can help them. These beautiful children need so much.
Recent Comments