Breast Cancer - My Family's Journey

Being Thankful...

If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.
~Rabbi Harold Kushner

 

These past couple of weeks have been such a whirlwind  that I forgot to post- So I will just get right to my top ten of things I am thankful for this year.

10. Clinical trials - I have one cycle completed. let the side effects begin!

9. Oral chemotherapy. my hair is already starting to grow back.

8. Friends - the group of people that I can call friends has grown exponetially in the past few months.

7. Meals made by friends - they are lovingly prepared for my family nearly every week - on most      days I feel okay so I feel guilty that I am not cooking for my family.

6.  4 day weekends.

5. Matilda Jane Trunk Keepers -  you have no idea the impact you have had on my life this year.

4. Family Christmas at my house - my entire family is coming this weekend from Michigan. I am SO   EXCITED

3. My super supportive family at Matilda Jane - Wig Wednesday is my favorite day of the week.

2. The DeMarchis Family.

1. My two amazing boys - they are so full of joy (and energy). they make my heart sing. 

1. Dan - life is as close to normal as it could possibly be because of you - you are what keeps me      fighting. for you I am most thankful.

 

I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with joy and family and the gifts that only they can bring. I certainly did.

A few questions...

 

Why me? what have I done to deserve all this?

these questions are almost always followed by a list of all the things that have gone wrong with ones life.

I find myself constantly asking these questions.

asking them in response to all the amazing things that I have been blessed with - especially since living with cancer has become my new normal.

take all these fundraisers that have taken place in the recent past and the card campaigns and the meals  and the flowers - this list could go on for miles -

I still am perplexed by the magnitude of it all.

I am sitting here typing and looking out the corner of my eye and I see the aftermath of two young boys in the family room. train tracks take up a large corner of the room and I can see the Legos that have taken over the dining room (Dan is partially to blame for that) 

I am so happy that these images fill my mind and not the negetivity that cancer brings - although I could do without the mess.

I am saying this because my new normal has so much of the old normal still in it, and that is what makes my heart sing.

p.s.    that quote at the top was Dan's fortune last week at P.F. Changs.

...

This week has some more change coming my way.

I have decided to take part in a clinical trial at Simon Cancer Center at IU.

I am both scared and excited at the same time.

scared of the unknown, but excited at the possibility of trying a new drug that I otherwise wouldn't have access to.

a new drug that just might be the one to put me into remission.

I start this week. 

fingers crossed.