A few questions...

 

Why me? what have I done to deserve all this?

these questions are almost always followed by a list of all the things that have gone wrong with ones life.

I find myself constantly asking these questions.

asking them in response to all the amazing things that I have been blessed with - especially since living with cancer has become my new normal.

take all these fundraisers that have taken place in the recent past and the card campaigns and the meals  and the flowers - this list could go on for miles -

I still am perplexed by the magnitude of it all.

I am sitting here typing and looking out the corner of my eye and I see the aftermath of two young boys in the family room. train tracks take up a large corner of the room and I can see the Legos that have taken over the dining room (Dan is partially to blame for that) 

I am so happy that these images fill my mind and not the negetivity that cancer brings - although I could do without the mess.

I am saying this because my new normal has so much of the old normal still in it, and that is what makes my heart sing.

p.s.    that quote at the top was Dan's fortune last week at P.F. Changs.

...

This week has some more change coming my way.

I have decided to take part in a clinical trial at Simon Cancer Center at IU.

I am both scared and excited at the same time.

scared of the unknown, but excited at the possibility of trying a new drug that I otherwise wouldn't have access to.

a new drug that just might be the one to put me into remission.

I start this week. 

fingers crossed. 

Comments

[Tracy F]

Of Chelsa, that is exciting news. Praying, hoping, wishing and holding you close. xoxo