overwhelmed...

My Goodness - a lot has happened since my last post.

I would love to report that it has all been sunshine and roses but that just isn't the case.

Now don't let that take you to a bad place...a ton of great things, no AMAZING things have transpired over the last few weeks but there have been a few setbacks too.

So I will just start where I left off in my last post...

I had a treatment on Thursday, October 4th. No Chemo this time since I had such a terrible time recovering from the first treatment. So I was given the non-chemotherapy drugs from my arsenol instead.

The next day, I felt just okay enough to go in to work and on my desk to greet me was this...

then a few hours later this arrived...

Not only did a group of super sweet customers send me that gorgeous wreath, but they started a card writing campaign. That beautiful trunk has at least 70 cards in it from across the country. I open a few a day in addition to the cards that come to my home everyday from friends.

Later that night my husband and I attended the Bust a Move fundraiser for Cancer Services of Northeast Indiana. the whole thing was just awe inspiring.

the very first thing that happened was about 1/2 the Matilda Jane Home Office staff as well as some friends surprised me by coming to the event to show their support. 

even more surprising was that I found out that night that Matilda Jane - in addition to my mom - sponsored my bust that was being auctioned off.

oh, it gets better...Matilda Jane sponsored the whole event! that's right - I had no clue. I knew the team loved me (we are such a close family at MJC) but this put me over the moon.

and it gets even better than that...

The event more than doubled what they were hoping to raise that night. They wanted to get to $15,000 - the grand total of the evening was $38,000  - My bust sold for $8500 - setting a new record!

now just so we're clear - I only modeled for the bust. An amazing local artist, Jon Recker, had such vision, the finished product knocked my socks off, and apparently the socks of the guy that bought it that night.

Here is a pic of some of the MJC team and the artist & me at the end of the evening...

moving on to Wednesday, October 10th -

I met with my oncologist for a follow- up appointment. Since I didn't get chemo she wanted to make sure I was reacting better to the drugs.

Well, I had some pain in my lower abdomen as well as some severe stomach pain so she sent me for a CT scan on Thursday thinking the medications may have caused an ulcer.

My oncologist called me later that night while Dan and I were at the annual Cancer Services Tribute Dinner.

The medications didn't cause an ulcer...

They found several small tumors on my liver and the lining of my stomach was inflamed.

We decided to (literally) drown our sorrows from this news by going to the Notre Dame/Stanford game in a torrental down pour on Saturday. ~Thanks Amy and Tim!

Here we are in front of "Touchdown Jesus"...

The weather was aweful and I only lasted till half time. I was completely worn out but so happy to have some alone time with Dan.

my oncologist ordered an endoscopy with the hopes of getting a biopsy of the tumors on my liver.

That procedure was on Monday. As of now I don't have the biopsy results but the hope is that we will shed more light on how my disease is behaving so that we can be sure we're on the correct path of treatment.

...

In the midst of all this happening -

the most amazing group of women that make up the Matilda Jane Sales Force - our Trunk Keepers have been a beacon of hope for me.

They have taken it upon themselves to be this light in my darkness. EVERY day I receive something from at least one trunk keeper in the mail either at home or at work. a card, a gift, flowers, anything to make my day just a little bit brighter than the one before.

and then they went and did this...

I can't talk about it with out crying so you'll just need to go to the Matilda Jane Blog  to read more about it.

and now this brings me to last night...

you see, I have been in Northern Michigan since Thursday with some of my favorite people in the world.

Denise and Lynette have completely worn me out - in a good way - of course. Petoskey is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful places on Earth and just being here and letting all the boys explore the trails in the woods while we get some work done then go shopping is my idea of a perfect weekend.

Then Dan, David, Denise, Lynette and Tod  had to go and BLOW MY MIND with this...

I could have killed them all for doing this - I still can't wrap my head around it.

They bought my bust and I am taking it home.

I love them all so much for this.

...

So thank you to everyone - the well wishers and card senders and meal makers and prayer warriors.

thank you for keeping me positive

for not letting me drown in self pity

for being that beacon of hope

and the light in the darkness

you all continue to make a difference in my life every day.

and I love you for that.