Breast Cancer - My Family's Journey

good times...

I am so happy to report that I made it through the week at work.

Every day I felt a little better and the week ended on a high note.

Saturday morning I participated in the 5th annual Fort 4 Fitness 4 mile run with my husband -

we signed up in May and I was determined to finish it even though since I broke my back in June I haven't even attempted to excersise - let alone run 4 miles.

my biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to complete the race so I decided to walk instead of run.

you see, I lost 7 lbs the previous week from being so sick and the neuropathy has started to affect my hands and feet so you can imagine my concerns about my energy levels and such.

But I finished and I walked at a 15.5 minute mile pace and I even ran the last 1/8 mile or so.

So I am happy with the results. I fully expect to be able to run the next 5k race (and finish).

 

Dan and me at the finish line.

 

...

and if that wasn't enough of an event for the day, I went to Viva La Pink with some very lovely ladies. 

Viva La Pink is an annual fundraiser for the Vera Bradley foundation for Breast Cancer. This year the foundation presented a check for over 2 million dollars to researchers and doctors from the  Simon Cancer Center in Indianapolis.

It is always such a fun event and I was so happy to spend the evening with some great friends.

 

Pretty in Pink for a wonderful cause

 

 

My MJC girls and me

 

As you can see we had a great time.

So that brings me to today...

I spent the day napping and doing absolutely nothing - I over did it a bit yesterday.

I plan to over do it again this week.

I have chemotherapy on Thursday and then another event on Friday...

Bust a Move - It is an annual event put on by the Fort Wayne Derby Girls to benefit Cancer Services of Northeast Indiana.

I have never attended in the past but this year I was asked to participate.

The Derby Girls create busts of Survivors and local artists turn them into amazing works of art that are auctioned off to raise funds.

I am so excited to see my bust in real life! I hope that I can afford to buy it.

Even if I don't win it, I am still so excited just to be a part of the event. Here is my interview for the event - it was done in June - a couple of months before I was diagnosed.

 

Talk to you soon...

 

Tough...

If you read this blog from the beginning -

you know that my first time around the block was more difficult emotionally than physically.

I had chemotherapy on Wednesday and was back at work by Saturday.

I refused to let cancer interfere with my daily life.

...

this time though, I was knocked down pretty hard.

I had a tough time getting back up.

It has been a bit more than a week and I am still having a tough time.

but - today I finally drove to the grocery store.

all I bought was kraft mac n' cheese and fudge pops before I got worn out and had to call it quits.

these drug side effects are reminding me of when I was pregnant...

...nausea and random cravings - I really don't even like kraft mac n' cheese.

although I will say that pregnancy nausea was way better.

...

So, after a week of letting my girls at MJC take almost everything off my plate,

I think I am ready to go back to work  - and life - on Monday.

Oh Lord, please let me be ready on Monday - I am SICK of being home sick.

 

speed bumps....

So the gal that was ordering my drugs for today forgot to order the Pertuzamab. 

It's a pretty new drug so they don't stock it - it only takes 24 hours to get it - but it wasn't here today.

So after being at the doctor's office for three hours and getting poked twice - with no numbing cream - I was sent home and asked to come back tomorrow for the 7 hour infusion.

Oh well...

tomorrow is another day.

on the upside though, I got to pick Michael up at carpool.

I was the 1st one in line and the look on his face when they called his number was PRICELESS.

Oh how I love that boy...

skipping chemo was SO worth it!

finding clarity...

I have been doing a lot of soul searching these past few weeks. 

I am still angry but I think I am starting to find some peace.

a couple of girlfriends came over last night to catch up -

we cried a lot.

we laughed a lot too.

we talked about my diagnosis, how I found out it was back, what the doctors said, etc...

but one question really stood out - my dear friend asked me "how do you keep it from consuming you, how do you function?" 

my response was "I just have to, if not for me then for my boys. My job in this life is to be their mother first. letting it consume me is not an option."

you see, she lost her mother to cancer not so long ago and I can only imagine how hard it is on her to have a friend  get this diagnosis when her own loss is still so fresh. 

I love her dearly and my heart aches for her.

talking this week has really given me some clarity  -

I have decided that maybe this isn't all about me after all.

maybe it is about my children.

I know it sounds crazy...

but maybe, just maybe, one of my boys will discover the cure for cancer and my getting sick is the catalyst that sets it in motion.

only God knows the answer.

But wouldn't it be amazing if I am right?

...

Tomorrow I begin chemo.

It is going to be a very long day - my mom is here to help me get through it.

I am so glad she is here. 

I hope I don't vomit. that really sucks.

reality...

Dan and I have been talking to Michael about what is happening.

We had the cancer talk last week.

Today, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Michael really was listening -

We were at the dentist today and Michael was watching while I was in the chair.

The hygenist asked if I had any health changes since my last visit - so I told her that the cancer is back.

Michael chimed in and said something like this -

"yea, the cancer bugs are back in mommy's body.  the medicine is gonna fight the bugs, right mommy?"

then he made a noise like he was play fighting.

I couldn't have been more proud of his explaination - he really got it. 

...

This week I am getting ready to begin the next round of treatment.

I have three more radiation treatments left - my back is finally beginning to feel a little better.

My hair will be very short and sassy on Thursday  - I will try and post pics -

my port gets put in on Friday.

Next week  is when it all begins.

I just hope that I can get my head in the right place before then.