Why is it so hard to get the words to come out right this time?
the last time we went through this I had no trouble finding something good to say - and you all know me, I am a firm believer in not saying anything if I can't say something nice.
I want to tell you about how Michael and Andrew are doing in school, that I am FINALLY getting a Kuerig (so excited), about the awesome projects that Dan finished this summer.
But I can't...
I am too angry to be positive.
I am angry that I was naive to think that we were past this.
I am angry that I can't get the reality of my mortality out of my head.
I am infuriated that I can't pick up my baby - the lesion on my l4 vertabrae caused a compression fracture.
I hate the fact that I am going to lose my hair - again.
...
but I want you to know that in spite of all my anger -
I am so deeply touched and honored to have all of you lifting my family up in prayer.
I want you to know that although I can't possibly respond to everyone - I have read every single message you all have sent and I have fought back the tears (not very successfully) from reading your kind and encouraging words.
I truly had no idea that I have touched so many people.
You all have inspired me too.
so I will keep moving forward
because above all other things, I am and I need to continue to be ...
- a mother - a wife - a sister - a daughter - a friend
Thank you for reminding me of that.
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