Bittersweet

 

I am sitting here staring at the screen willing the right words out of my head and onto this post...I think that this will be my last entry. 

This blog started out as a way for me to open up and let people in, as I am a bit of an introvert when it comes to my feelings (just ask Dan). This little blog has given me so much more than just an outlet for my ramblings during my personal battle with breast cancer. It has brought so many new people into my life that I probably never would have met. It has given you a way to cry, laugh and worry along with me without the burden of actually having to express it out loud - although I am quite positive that you may have heard my tears through some of my entries.

- and believe me - I cried. I cried a lot.

This blog also renewed my faith in God. I have gotten to know Him so much better than I ever thought I would. I finally figured out what is really important in this life. I learned real humility - I have never once asked God -Why Me? (Dan will attest to that), and found my faith - I have always known that I would get to this day.

This day...

...the day that I say "adios cancer. my life belongs to me again. You are not the dominant thought in my head. You don't get to knock me off my feet and kick me while I am down...because I am stronger than you".

SO...

Thank you all for being there. for lifting me up in your prayers. for encouraging me to keep going. I am sure you all know that every positive word you said, every uplifting thought, every prayer group that you added my name to helped. They helped in more ways than many of you can possibly imagine.   

I still have all the cards and notes that so many of you sent over the last year - and believe me when I say I don't keep stuff. I can't stand clutter (but with two boys it is VERY difficult to escape) so I don't keep birthday cards or mother's day cards or Christmas cards. But - I kept every card you all sent in a box to remind me of the fact that we are all in this together.  We never have to fight our battles alone.

If I can ask one favor of all of you it is this...

encourage your loved ones to have their cancer screenings. having to go through what I went through is MUCH better than the alternative.

Thank you for coming along with me on this journey...

it was much easier than going it alone.

xoxoxo

Chelsa